PTSD.

when i got my medical marijuana card in 2018 saying you had anxiety wasn’t reason enough to qualify. PTSD – however – was an approved diagnosis. so i went to a doctor, was truthful, & they agreed that i had PTSD and therefore was granted my medical marijuana card. i probably thought i was being… Continue reading PTSD.

panic.

this is an example timeline of what it feels like when i am having a panic attack type of moment:i can’t think straight.my thoughts are fast, fragmented, confusing, disjointed, random, overwhelming, relentless & usually not based in any form of reality, logic, or reason.i feel worried.i feel hot.i wonder if i’m just hungry or too… Continue reading panic.

father.

seems more than appropriate to write about my dad today. here are some facts & stories about my father & our relationship: during my childhood my father made enough money to provide for our family without my mother having to bring in an income herself. my mother’s job was providing primary childcare as my father… Continue reading father.

jazzed.

i am just JAZZED UP today! (for good reasons – don’t worry.) first of all – happy full moon day 🌕 .. today’s flower moon also coincided with a lunar eclipse! i didn’t see any of it live but definitely felt so many strong, powerful energies floating about over these past few days / will… Continue reading jazzed.

fear.

some questions i’m asking myself today:what are my goals?what am i currently doing to accomplish my goals?could i do something differently to be more successful?do my actions contradict my goals? i fear sometimes i am a bit frazzled & lose sight of what i’m actually trying to do. i get distracted by what i perceive… Continue reading fear.

pets.

in addition to sex work, i also work in petcare. so i spend all day with animals [dogs mostly] & then spend my evenings entertaining men .. aka animals .. jk i think any gender can just as easily be labeled as animals. mammals .. *shrug* i grew up with a pet cat who was… Continue reading pets.

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financial therapy.

i have been seeing the same therapist for over 3 years. they have helped me through a fuckton of personal shit .. it’s tough to even begin to think about how much i value this relationship in my life. recently we have been working on my trust in myself, specifically regarding money & finances. we… Continue reading financial therapy.

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note to self.

i often write notes to myself – especially before i go to bed. i find it helps me get a better night’s rest because i don’t have unspoken/undocumented thoughts spilling out of my head. i also often have to give myself explicit permission to take breaks from work. being self-employed & a very independent person… Continue reading note to self.

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