orgasms.

did i get your attention?

*takes large puff of cannabis vape* .. jumping right into this story ..

about a year ago i went through a breakup & a subsequent move. during the move i was “couch hopping” for a few weeks while i figured out my next life decision. while crashing at a client’s vacant apartment, i went to the a drug store to pick up a vibrator because all mine were still at my old place. i remember sitting on the floor at this apartment & shooting a video (probably) & vibrating my clitoris – which is/was my tested, trusted, & reliable way to bring myself to orgasm. right before i could cum i got the inkling of a headache – but knowing me i powered through and went for the O anyway. later unfortunately that little headache turned into a pretty bad one. i chalked it up to being stress related considering the amount of fucking stress i was under & didn’t think much more about it.

fast forward to present day, if you will, and since that first orgasm-induced migraine, that exact circumstance has repeatedly occurred in increased frequency, now to the point where i can’t vibrate my clit to orgasm anymore because i’m pretty much destined to get a headache/migraine every time. for example, today i was in the shower so relaxed & feeling wonderful so wanted to vibrate my clit a little .. well it didn’t last long & i got a headache so i got out of the shower & immediately took tylenol, smoked, chugged a bunch of water, & laid upside-down squeezing my head trying not to cry until the tylenol kicked in. thats pretty normal these days for when i try to cum by myself. i’ve also experienced smaller more mild headaches when engaging in sexual activity with partners.

so i have an idea - i want to do a little study on orgasms - specifically female orgasms and - well - mine. i want to talk to people about orgasms and perhaps uncover some things i have yet to learn. maybe make a documentary type thing out of it.

i already brought this up to my therapist & learned that the female sexual pleasure organ is just one organ. okay – honestly, first my best friend told me in shock DID YOU KNOW A CLITORIS IS THE SIZE OF A ZUCCHINI which is like kinda right but kinda wrong too hahaha .. but then i brought it up to my therapist and she learned me on it. this topic/situation has been another reason for starting this website .. to chronicle all of this .. my thoughts & findings & all that shit.

oh also i wanted to talk about music & what my jams of the day are .. *one day i’ll learn to focus maybe* .. my song obsession of today is: “hair down (feat. kendrick lamar)” by SiR

until next time ..

adoringly,

LM