top 21%.

wanna hear how i woke up the day after my first sex party to my tryst ad going live (& about 712 messages)? cool .. cuz i really wanna tell you all about it.

upon being invited to this play party a few weeks ago i somewhat panicked over the admission ticket fee of $90. you see – up until a few days ago my income was .. um .. not great. i honestly didn’t know what i was going to do. i was trying everything i could think of to ramp up my online presence and nothing was really working all that well. my assistant/PR kween & i had (& still have) lots of plans & ideas to make the social media SO FUN. but the things that pay the bills like onlyfans subscriptions & other paid services were still trickling in at a very. slow. pace. my fanship was growing but .. idk i just felt like i was doing something wrong? so i decided to check my task list for some ideas and saw that i had been putting off making a tryst or eros account. i finally had the time & patience to sit still & focus enough to make the tryst account a week or two ago. it takes a while to get approved – they said 10 days – so i kinda put it out of my mind & figured id get an email when it was all approved & then i would launch the ad or something.

so i went to snapchat & a lovely newer fan of mine felt for me in my situation & kindly sent the $90 i needed for the sex party ticket. WOOOO. i was one step closer.

i’m going to fast forward some juicy parts probably for another post or something another time .. but i packed up my dog, drove up to brooklyn, dropped him off at the dog sitter’s, went to record my friend’s podcast, went back to pick up my dog, came back to friend’s apartment & ended up in a group blow job situation before heading to my hotel to get ready for the PLAY PARTY!

i had brought 5 outfits (of course) so after a brief break (i watched bridesmaids .. classic) i made a thoughtful selection & started on my hair & makeup. my friend came to finish getting ready & pick me up & off we went!

i was PUMPED!!!!!! still am so excited to think back on it .. what a neat evening. i have been around people fucking & i’ve been involved in group sex etc. but this party was something totally new .. it was a sprawling home meticulously designed for optimal party flow. there was a beautiful outdoor space which, being a cannabis user, i spent a decent amount of time outside, even though it rained off & on. the roof was so cool & was clearly my favorite area .. closer to the sky the better. i was sitting outside on this big built in wrap around couch when they started doing the shibari bondage “show” .. it was planned of course but it seemed almost impromptu in a beautiful way .. two people finding themselves in a kismet type situation .. one wants to be tied .. the other has the knowledge and tools necessary.

i was ENAMORED .. i know i have always been into typing knots -> bondage .. & i knew i had interest in suspension type practices because of doing aerial yoga .. so when i saw someone IN FRONT OF ME getting put into a gorgeous shape & suspended in front of me like a floating sensual ballerina .. COUNT. ME. IN.

i pretty much fixated on making this happen for me for the rest of the night. the friend that brought me said hi to a rigger (someone who ties the knots) & i saw my opening! i conversed with this lovely human and they agreed to put me up in the ropes!!!!

okay so let me set the stage: we are in a basement. there are mattresses and play spaces all over the place. low lights. sexy music. people all over the place in various stages of sexual acts. i am wearing nothing but fishnet stockings. some people are sitting still & watching intently as to what is about to happen. other people are just passing through & pause for a moment before they continue onward to whatever sexy thing they have on their agenda. the rigger starts to tie my hands & i pretty much immediately go into a meditative state. i lost concept of time & space. i can’t even necessarily remember the exact series of events probably .. but it was absolutely incredible. i was put into a chest harness & had my one leg tied up. i suspended mostly from my leg with some weight on my shoulder/chest. i had my hands/arms & one leg free so i was able to like dance around a little while i was hanging upside down naked from the ceiling. just describing it now gives me the best kind of goosebumps. here’s a pic of someone else i found doing a pose that is close enough to what i may have looked like. there was no photography at the party, understandably.

(this is not me!!)

after i came down i was HIGH. like so energized .. it was amazing. im running out of words to describe it, to be honest. but the good news is i am in communication with the same rigger and we are planning a collaboration photo shoot!!!! this is gonna be good. so again i’ll glaze over a few things but i will share a pic of me after i came back to the hotel & took a shower at 3:30 AM.

popped blood vessels are a sign of a good time .. haha .. sometimes.

i have to go but want to post this before i run out SO quick story recap to end then maybe i’ll go in more depth another time.

remember making the tryst profile? well apparently they don’t email you to tell you to launch your ad yourself so out of seemingly no where i woke up on sunday after trying to sleep in to a litany of messages from various sources in addition to MANY new onlyfans subscribers .. FUCKING THANK YOU! i think i had like 36 new subs since sunday morning & it put me in the top 21% of creators (was like 35% beforehand).

so wtf is happening. idc i’m thrilled. life is good. i finally feel appreciated & seen/heard. like the efforts of me & my assistant aren’t for nothing. so we will keep up with our awesome social media presence while i start meeting up with lots of new folx again!!!!!!

i’m cutting this so short – i have so many more thoughts. but just .. thank you. i’m just getting started.

with gratitude,