trouble.

i met boyfriend about a month ago on an undisclosed dating app/website 🤔.. 

after hanging out the first time i knew i didn’t want to stop talking to him. and i couldn’t wait to make another plan with him. 
we clicked so hard .. just your classic, good, solid chemistry. 
i haven’t felt this way about anyone in a very, very long time .. many years. i mean i guess technically i’ve probably never felt this way about anyone before .. everyone is unique & all situations complex in their own ways. 

the first time we hung out i stayed with him longer than i meant to & since it was the first meet up for a blind date my friends were texting me like “ummm?? alive??” .. well we were fucking so much and having such a nice time that i lost track of everything & then realized how much time had passed while i was riding him so i used my apple watch to respond to my friends saying “All is good we’re having really good sex he’s 26 and normal and works locally OK bye love you all” 

sent this to my security squad right after getting off the dick.

cuz i’m a total spaz .. so i said that out loud .. to my watch .. while riding him .. picture included .. 
he just about lost his shit. 
my favorite part about that first meet up was how much time we spent with our bodies so comfortably entangled .. felt natural. feels natural. 

next time he came over to my house to spend time with me while i worked .. which was really nice of him. he was a good sport .. patient .. kind .. sexy af .. we couldn’t keep our hand off each other .. yet again. 

the following weekend we went to a concert .. beforehand we go to the hotel & once i finished running around .. again .. cuz i’m an ADD lunatic [& for some reason people like it] .. but once finally got my ass back to the room .. ohmygods .. he could NOT wait to get his hands on me & i very much felt the same way. he laid me down in the bed so quickly and spread my legs .. he gently took his tongue & barely touched my labia with it .. grazing past my clitoris just hardly brushing it .. he grabbed me strongly by the legs & hips .. it was intoxicating. by the time he [finally!] made contact between his mouth & my body he had made me soaking, sopping wet. 

he has regularly been doing that to me, tbh. i’m a wet, blubbering mess in his presence. 

the concert was beyond fun .. felt safe social distancing wise & dancing all up on him was so so so fun. he clearly enjoyed watching me in my little rave chick element.  i had a feeling he wasn’t going to be a dancer so it didn’t bother me .. i was so content grinding my booty into him & feeling him get hard through his jeans. we left the concert a little early – bc we are smart like that – & bc we couldn’t wait to fuck. i had to leave early in the morning so we had to make the most of our time. we. fucked. all. night. we also talked & laughed a lot. ⚡️ feelings were continuing to fly for sure .. 

he was here hanging out with me while i work yesterday & today. and he was clearly very comfortable with me. and very excited to see me. as i was him. simply watching him walk up to the house from his car was hot. he seemed sexier than i remembered. i guess that’s what happens when you like someone. 
we ate lots of food & fucked even moreso. like at minimum 7 times in 28 hours. he came twice which is a BIG compliment to me & made me super happy & proud af to have gotten to experience that with him. i came umm idk i lost count how many times. bc he’s magical and i don’t know how else to put it. he gets me & my body probably better than i do. somehow. 3-4ish weeks. hanging out once a week. & i’ve lost count of orgasms. he can easily kiss me & touch me for 15 seconds & make me cum. it’s unreal. like .. it’s happened before in my life with partners – but not for a really really long time. like a really long time. i honestly thought i had just gotten older and things were just different now & i wasnt going to get wet and have really fucking amazing mind blowing sex with people anymore. i thought my best chances at an orgasm were probably by myself. other people try & i just can’t focus or i can’t feel anything and it’s just better for me to put my attention on other people’s orgasms because at least those are attainable but with him .. like fuck .. he holds me & touches me & i melt into a straight up puddle. 

& i’ve barely talked about the actual fucking. 

last night i had the best sex of my life with him. & i don’t wanna put words in his mouth but i’m pretty sure he said it was either the best/one of the best times for him too .. it’s the vulnerability, man! i cracked the code to sex .. whisper your feelings & emotions into your partner’s ear .. and at least that’s how he cums 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s kinda breathtaking when someone opens up intimately with their body, mind & soul .. it’s refreshing. with him it’s easy to mutter what i’m thinking .. he asks .. he cares .. he listens .. we fuck & sometimes it’s slow & deep and other times it’s more consensually “physically demanding” 😉.. he claims because he’s a good listener he’s good at sex. i think he’s a straight up sex empath if that’s a thing. plugs right into his partner & figures them out through both verbal & nonverbal ish. so miraculous. 
so anyway .. we are fucking last night. & it’s like .. fucking outrageously connected, deep, passionate, well orchestrated, natural, HOT .. i mean .. fuck. he pulled a maneuver involving staying inside me while switching up the position in a super impressive way .. the boy can FUCK. 🥵 so in tuned. he got on top like a missionary where he held me close and my legs were bent and up .. so sexy. so deep. & i just told him the truth as he fucked me. i told him i really like him. so much it’s scary & even makes me sad at times. bc im afraid what will happen if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. 
well that did it for him & he came in me ☺️ now here’s a funny side detail. last week i told him he was allowed to cum in me but my stoned ass last night forgot that we had previously had the conversation about it. so i thought he just took the liberty and was like well i’m gonna cum in her and not ask. SO my LITERAL first initial reaction & words at the moment he came was “you irresponsible loser!” .. .. .. .. 
somehow a few hours ish later we were laying in bed talking and fucking around again and we negotiated the terms of our relationship & decided to define our partnership as a “boyfriend/girlfriend” type of thing .. 🥳 .. .. so folks .. even if you tell someone they’re a loser while they’re cumming they may still profess their adoration and declare committed intentions to you later 😇

WOO enough enough .. more on this developing saga as it unfolds .. 

please pray to your relationship god(s) of choice for us .. i’m a sex working nutcase with relationship PTSD & he’s literally the kindest human i’ve ever met. i have no idea what’s going on but i’m fucking here for it. 

lustfully,
LM