why i don’t like being a sex worker.

i’m a walking contradiction. what can i say.

it’s not that i consistently don’t like what i do: quite the opposite. i have received so much positivity during my time doing sex work. however i do feel it’s appropriate to give balance & do a realistic assessment of my feelings towards some of the downsides of being a sex worker.

i’m not the first person to say something along these lines but being a successful sex worker is like being a full-time therapist, marketing manager, financial advisor/accountant, physical trainer, lawyer, nutritionist, makeup artist, private investigator, photographer, & all-things-sex expert .. all at the same time. i wear many hats. i am an entrepreneur or small business owner or whatever you want to call it, which inherently means i work 24/7 or else i don’t make money. no PTO .. no sick days .. it can be grueling. there’s an endless amount of work to be done in order to do the job correctly. i’ve been fortunate enough to farm-out some of my social media work. & i hired an accountant for the first time this past year. in short: being a sex worker in the way i have done it is largely a one-human operation. and this human is tired.

another hat that i often wear is that of a salesperson’s. the commodity that i sell is time spent with me & my body, which is not only taboo but also illegal. i think this adds to feelings of isolation that are already occurring due to the “one-human operation” aforementioned. there’s so much necessary secrecy involved in my work. even when i was sugar dating and could somewhat argue the legality, 90% of my “sugar daddies” were married or in a closed relationship meaning their involvement with me was to be completely discreet. now that i’m escorting there’s the obvious caution that i need to take in order to protect myself. i have snuck in & out of a lot of back stairwells of hotels. i never did get my camel color trench coat & optional black fedora .. i guess there’s still time. it can take a lot of energy to be so secretive.

i have invested a lot of money, time & energy on maintaining “the product” aka .. myself. i guess this is both a complaint as well as a buried positive thing. in a nutshell i must make sure i’m in tip-top condition both physically & mentally. my job is so taxing & demanding on my mind & body. if i’m not at my best then business suffers. i am fortunate to have a trusted therapist to regularly talk to about my work & to guide me towards mental wellbeing. i exercise, eat well, & drink alcohol very infrequently. i do not smoke cigarettes. i try to get as much sleep as i can. i meditate. i drink water constantly. i get my nails & hair done. i spend time learning about makeup & trying new techniques. i try to keep up with fashion trends. i invest in new lingerie. i get facials & massages. i take psych meds. i keep a journal & have cultivated a strong support system. i try to keep up with my reading & current events. i learn about anatomy, effective communication, & other things that can help enrich my work in some way. i keep up with a clean & tidy home due to the fact that it’s my incall space & more than often the setting of my pictures. i do a lot in the name of sex work.

something that’s a little harder for me to admit and talk about .. there have been sacrifices that i’ve had to make along the way. as much as i’ve tried to avoid it, being involved in this line of work has had some effects on my personal life. i am an open person who refuses to hide part of myself from a partner. i don’t have the ability to be dishonest about the work i do with people who are trusted and closest to me. sadly i’ve seen the same thing happen over & over .. i start seeing someone & they’re fully aware of my sex work. they’re cool with it at first. i’ve dated people who have had varying levels of interest in wanting to know or not know details about my work. the sad part is that time & time again my partner slowly starts to get weird about some aspect of my work & i see a side of them i don’t like. it’s arguable that my sex work has been the thing that either directly or indirectly caused every break up of mine these past few years.
i believe that i will have to choose either a healthy personal relationship or sex work. i don’t believe i will be able to do both. not just because of the issues that may arise on the partner’s end .. but because of the energy i must give to sex work. circling back to earlier in this post .. sex work is physically draining. so this part also makes me sad. because even if i really want to give my partner some of my energy, i often have to save it for a job. to be blunt: i want to fuck my partner but have to stop myself because i am anticipating needing that energy for a client. i don’t know how much longer i want my job to directly affect my personal sex life. it just bums me out sometimes.

doing sex work is not easy. it definitely gets glamorized sometimes. i’m guilty of falling into the trap of daydreaming about what a fancy & magical life i could have being a high-end escort for the remainder of my days. (i just watched the movie This Is 40 with Megan Fox being a secret part-time escort who has nice things .. almost made me forget about the risks & complications associated with this line of work)
but sex work to me is starting to feel a little shallow .. empty .. like maybe i’ve gotten all i can get out of it. might be time for me to start thinking about moving on to my next project.

i clearly like to write & share my thoughts & stories. i enjoy learning & talking to people. i think it’s finally time to lean into the creation of my podcast (& maybe memoir). i want to start doing these things while i’m still doing sex work so i don’t have to fret about making money.
as far as my podcast goes i bought all the necessary supplies and even started a patreon (i’ll admit i haven’t done anything with it since october so don’t get too excited yet).
click here to become a patron of mine & keep up with my podcast developments.

i also want to do a gradual fade out of actively doing sex work because i want to try to end on a good note, working with my regular clients who i have grown to form bonds with. my work is still very special and important to me and it will make me sad to say goodbye to working with clients but i know i can’t do it forever .. i’d like to see what else life has in store for me. i have to open myself up in order to receive whatever goodness is around the corner.
if you’re interested in booking me before i retire from the game click here for my ad. please be prepared to screen & deposit.

as a final update .. i’m slowly working on taking down all my free porn & focusing my efforts on keeping up with my VIP onlyfans. so get your free lucee porn while it’s still up .. and then once it’s all gone feel free to check out my onlyfans. i also have a free page if that’s more your speed.

i’m truly & deeply looking forward to my future blog entries, podcast, & other creative projects. i am eager for this life shift of mine to begin. can’t wait to see what unfolds.

feel free to email me at luceemoon@pm.me if you have anything you’d like to share.

adoringly,
LM